Exactly 4 months and 1 day ago, we met for the very first time. Ridiculous isn’t it? How quickly this complete stranger became the one I cherished most. Its stupid really. I don’t trust easily, I told you that. It hurt when I let go, but I knew it was for the best. I had to do it, for myself. You left, just like I knew you would, and I accepted that. Yes, it hurt. Yes, I cried. But I accepted it. You weren’t good for me. Case closed.

Then I find this amazing guy. He reminds me so much of you its horrifying. The way you tilt your head, that smirk you do, you guys love the same movies, you’re both soft spoken, etc. It hurts every time I’m with him. The things he does, makes me think of you. Maybe thats why my guard is up more than usual. You made me this pathetic, low self esteem, psychopath. I can’t let him in the way I did with you. I really want to, I just can’t. Im terrified that history will repeat itself. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t even try with him. Not only because I’m scared he’ll hurt me. I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to have him love me, or so he says, and not completely feel the same way. Maybe one day, I’d get over this whole thing and be normal again.

The reason why all this suddenly exploded in my face is because you keep popping out, everywhere. What does this mean? Lets just leave it at that.

I sincerely apologise for being such a brat about this. Give me time. I’ll get over it.