Exactly 4 months and 1 day ago, we met for the very first time. Ridiculous isn’t it? How quickly this complete stranger became the one I cherished most. Its stupid really. I don’t trust easily, I told you that. It hurt when I let go, but I knew it was for the best. I had to do it, for myself. You left, just like I knew you would, and I accepted that. Yes, it hurt. Yes, I cried. But I accepted it. You weren’t good for me. Case closed.

Then I find this amazing guy. He reminds me so much of you its horrifying. The way you tilt your head, that smirk you do, you guys love the same movies, you’re both soft spoken, etc. It hurts every time I’m with him. The things he does, makes me think of you. Maybe thats why my guard is up more than usual. You made me this pathetic, low self esteem, psychopath. I can’t let him in the way I did with you. I really want to, I just can’t. Im terrified that history will repeat itself. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t even try with him. Not only because I’m scared he’ll hurt me. I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to have him love me, or so he says, and not completely feel the same way. Maybe one day, I’d get over this whole thing and be normal again.

The reason why all this suddenly exploded in my face is because you keep popping out, everywhere. What does this mean? Lets just leave it at that.

I sincerely apologise for being such a brat about this. Give me time. I’ll get over it.

I just experienced the best first kiss anyone could ask for. It felt like the ones that you only see in movies.

You know those typical goodnight kisses? He walks you to your door, and you hug him around his neck so his arms are around your waist. Then you pull away and he doesn’t let go. Then you lean in to kiss him and yeah. Magic. Fireworks. Call it what you want, it wasn’t like anything I’ve ever felt before.

This didn’t feel just like lips. I suddenly felt all warm and fuzzy inside. I got butterflies in my tummy and my cheeks were burning up, beginning to blush. The blood and adrenaline rushing through my veins in a way I have never felt before. My heart was beating so fast I could’ve sworn he could hear it.

He is my teenage dream. ♥